Category: Phoenix Knights News
End of All Season Awards
Posted by mark in Phoenix Knights News Sunday, 26 April 2009 14:26 No Comments
Best Performance of the Season – 15 vs 5 against Deliverance (Tuesday’s)
Worst Performance of the Season – 0 vs 5 against Charterhouse Old Boys (Thurs)
Comeback of the Seasons – Robbie Hewitt’s sensational comeback from the career threatening trampolineing wrist injury
Team Performance of the Season – 15-5 against Deliverence
Disappointment of the Season – finishing 3rd from bottom on thursdays
Disappointment of the Season Part 2 – Missing out of the top 2 places on Sunday on the final game of the season.
Worst Memory of the Season – Bonnett trying to put his trainers on when the game had kicked off
Most Memorable Celebration of the Season – The combined team joy at the 15 vs 5 win over deliverance and the realisation that Carla has lucky pants
Forgetful moments of the season – Georgiades trying to prove he doesn’t wear pants
Unlikeliest Event of the Season – Morris and Sweatman confessing their undying love for eachother
Relief of the Season – Not getting relegated I the 1st season of Thursday games.
Top Goalscorer – Gaz Tues and Thurs, Ry on Sun
Goal of the Season – Mozza’s early season Thursday night magic left half volley strike from wide on the left.
Luckeist Goal – Mozza off the wall and off the keepers back against spleen team
Best Own Goal – Bunney has knocked up quite a few off the post…
Best Manager – Bunney for managing to grow his hair again
Worst Injury – Bunney’s broken thumb
Best Poker – 5 card stud
Most Loyal Fan – Carla – taking Bunney to hostpital
Fans Player of the year – Winner: Bunney – as sponsored by ‘Fans electric fans Ltd’
Most Improved Player of the Season – Mozza
Most Visits to hospital – Bunney and Morris
Performance of the season – Bunney for lasting long enough in bed to hurt his shoulder
Most Consistent – The consistency of Marks Sunday night poo’s
Controversial Incident of the Season – Sweatman trying to leave back of the net
Revelation of the Season – Georgiades revealing he doesn’t wear pants to games
Inevitability of the Season – Sweatman turning up in the wrong shirt
Peer Pressure of the season – Submitting to getting a green kit for the whole squad
The Carlton Palmer Award for worst pass – Robbie passing up the opportunity to have a little locker room loving with that hot duty manager at Higg’s.
The Dennis Bergkamp Award for Pass of the Season – Bonnett’s through ball to Georgiades in last game of thursday night season
The Gary Neville Award For Worst Dive of the Season – Mills falls over more than a paper mache lamppost in a hurricane
Disturbing Fashion Trend of the Season – Bunneys dioreah brown goalie kit
Worst haircut – Bunney for the shocking bowl cut
Grey hair of the Season – Bonnetts back hair
Romantic of the Season – Ry for taking Gemma to Portugal to get roasted
Dumper of the Season – Steve’s pre gamers
De-panted of the Season – Sweatman at the saturday tournement – was a good ‘un
Primma donna of the Season – Sweatman for threatening to jump ship on a Sunday
Song of the Season – Meat Pie Sausage Roll
Word of the Season – injured
Velcro trainers of the season – Mozza
Smell of the Season – Bunneys gloves (vinegar and wee)
Cup Runneth Over
Posted by mark in Phoenix Knights News Sunday, 26 April 2009 14:15 No Comments
The correct opposition didnt turn up so we had a friendly against Spleen Team. The game was a touch short tempered as it always seems to be when we play them, however we won out 6-3 winners.
Bunney even gave us 5 mins at the end of the game in nets to test his hand, with Georgiades and Mills covering for the rest of the game.
The Knights use the spare ref as a sub and generally played well, cantering to the win with ease, although we went 0-1 down. One of two of the opposition tried the rough house tacics with Sweatman being body checked and Bunney’s hand being ground into the wall.
Mills and georgiades pulled of the necessary fine saves covered well on the pitch.
Goals went to the ref, Sweatman and Georgiades(cant remember how many each).
Tally Ho and a Yip Yip to you all!
The Chronicles of Phoenix: The Sweat, the Gail and the Team Bus
Posted by mark in Phoenix Knights News Sunday, 26 April 2009 14:14 No Comments
No Bunney or Morris, an injured Sweatman and ill Bonnett Phoenix were well below par and had to call upon youngster Nick.
It started off well drawing 0-0 with one of the favourites, Bonnett in nets had little to do and the Knights had the best of the game
Next then lost 0-1 with the Knights unlucky not to get a draw with Sweatman missing a chance at the death and Bonnett was rarely troubled.
A 3-1 defeat put pad to any hopes to qualify for the semi’s with Georgiades scoring the only goal of the game.
At the least the Knights went out on a high with a 4-1 win with Mills, Sweatman sciring and Nick getting 2.
not to worry, look forward to the new year when we’re all fit and the new season…
No game thursday but we have a game on sunday at 19.30…haven’t heard otherwise.
Slippery When Wet
Posted by mark in Phoenix Knights News Sunday, 26 April 2009 14:13 No Comments
The night was surrounded with controversy with the Knights being relegated even though they werent in a relegation spot last season (must be ffor financial irregularities – Sweatman not brining enough money to games and apparently loosing it in his sock – damn them sock faries). But the night soon got into swing with some mockery with the more ugly netballers and the ritual farts.
The Knights took a bit of a pounding to start leaking a few goals early doors, with the pick of the bunch being Bonnett deciding to tie his shoe laces in the middle of the game (see season awards for reference to Bonnett and his shoe tying ability). However trailing at half time saw them fight back to 7-5, with the opposition lokking decidedly nervous i nthe final minutes.
Goals from Sweatman 3, Georgiades and Bonnett.
The pick of Sweatmans 3 being a delicant tap from the tinyest of angle imaginable. Bonnett tapped in a rebound off the wall from a Sweaty shot and Georgiades a turn and shoot from distance in off the post.
Mills (and Boone) was making a nuisance of himself, but sadly didnt get a chance to employ his patented bum bludgeoner and Bunney the edam man acquitted himself well flinding himself onto the hard concrete floor all game (thats how you get piles).
Possibly a Thursday game next week, but no sunday this weekend as its Crimbo.
Have a merry Crimbo – peace on earth and all that hogs wallop.
Not Sixy Football
Posted by mark in Phoenix Knights News Sunday, 26 April 2009 14:12 No Comments
Bunney took his rightful place in nets last night with Mills, Bonnett (2 goals – 1 pen) and Georgiades (2 goals) out on pitch with all three being under the weather carrying sniffles and a few more pounds of timber after the festive period. It didnt help the Knights had to play all game without a sub and the opposition were all younger, fitter, faster and had 3 subs.
The game took a turn for the worse with the opposition takign the lead before a fine Bonnett cut back to Georgiades lead to the defender entering his own box under pressure and conceeding a pen which bonnett tucked away with easy.
The opposition again took the lead before Mills threaded a ball down the line to Georgiades who dragged the ball back inside his man, out muscled him and poked the ball past the keeper.
2-2 at half time.
The opposition then made it 2-3 before a quick worked 1-2 freekick between Bonnett and Mills on the edge of their box caught them all napping for Bonnett to simply tap it into an almost unguarded net to make it 3-3.
With legs tiring and the cold air stinging the lungs the opposition then took a 3-5 lead before the Knights mimi revival with a Mills long ranger being well saved by the keeper and rolling out of the box to a defender who turned into Georgiades who disposessed him had a shot saved by the keeper before it rolled out to his left foot to dink it into the net with the keeper still on the floor.
In the final minutes the opposition made it 4-6, however the Knights can take heart having more than enough opportunities to make a real game of it and with their hard work and never say die attitude made the opposition work harder then the wantedd to or expected.
The highlight of the game was Bonnett turning up i na Nigeria shirt and twelling everyone ‘if that white fella can play for trinidad and tobago i can bloody well play for nigeria if i like – world cup here i come’.
There was alos the litrtle gem of Carla turning up with the Bunmeister general and looking sultry at us all night from the stands, im sure she even pouted a few times at bunney to keep his concentration up – well it certainly got something up – his shorts dont leave much to the imagination.